Hello, beautiful human. Welcome to the Madness. I’m Steve Mattus, and this is ∞actualinfinity the podcast – where we explore being awake, being conscious, being love in a world that’s largely none of those things.

Let me be direct about what this is and isn’t. This isn’t another self-help podcast trying to fix you or to make your life better. You’re not broken. Your life is exactly as it is. And what this is, is an invitation into presence, into knowingly being that loving awareness that you already are, but that we spend so much time trying to escape and pursue that loving awareness, that loving presence, that peace, that ease, that connection, that safety in our system, when it’s actually already right here.

I come to this as an autistic, gay, twice-exceptional man who spent decades masking, performing, trying to be enough. Through profound experiences with early sexual abuse, religious trauma, drug addiction, recovery, I’ve discovered something essential, that there is nothing to fix, to change, or to transcend. There is only being.

So in these conversations, whether they’re just me sharing something from my personal experience, or whether it’s with guests, we’ll dive deep into what it means to live from awareness while fully engaging with the human experience. All of it, the whole human experience, the messy fucking experience that we all have. It’s not going to be edited. It’s not going to be flowered. It’s not going to be perfumed. We’re going to talk about trauma, and we’re going to talk about neurodivergence, and about business, and about sex, and about relationships, and about the dirty nuts and bolts experience that we have of being a human in a body with a mind, living in a world that is full of chaos and beauty, everything that makes up this wild fucking ride of being a human being. But we’ll do it from a place that recognizes all of it is consciousness expressing itself perfectly.

You’ll hear from other people, people who are considered seekers or explorers or enlightened or awakened or just on a path of some sort to whatever they call themselves. We’ll share stories, we’ll laugh at the cosmic joke, and most importantly, we’ll practice being present together. Because when consciousness meets consciousness, when heart meets heart, when love meets love, something magical happens.

My commitment is to keep it real and raw and grounded in truth, no spiritual bypassing, no toxic positivity, no pretending that the relative experience doesn’t matter. Just honest exploration of what it means to knowingly be awareness while navigating this human experience.

So if you’re drawn to presence, to awareness, to consciousness, just if you sense that there’s something deeper than the conditioned patterns that we’re all caught in, if you’re ready to wake the fuck up, to find and access regularly the peace and the love that is already inside of you, always accessible, this is for you. Whether you’re neurodivergent or not, spiritually inclined or not, you are welcome here. Your beauty and your power is welcome here. Welcome here.

New episodes will drop. I’m not going to commit to you. I’m going to do it every week because if I’m having a bad week, I’m not going to do it. Or maybe I will do it, especially when I’m having a bad week because we want to keep it real, right? I don’t know. I might do two podcasts a day or I might do two podcasts a month. I have no idea. How could I possibly know? Nor am I going to commit myself in a way that causes me potential harm. And I hope you don’t do that to yourself either, by the way.

What if it’s okay if you’re just present and aware and willing to be with whatever comes up in this next moment.

What I will ask you to do, however, is to please subscribe so that you don’t miss episodes whenever I do publish them. And remember that above all else, I wish you more love, not less, always. Are you ready? Let’s do this thing.